Make it matter.
Today is the last day of my 12 week maternity leave and then it's back to the workforce for me. It's so sad for me. This time off was shorter and different from the time off I had with Rylan. Rylan was 5 1/2 months old when I finally found a job after she was born. My mother-in-law lived with us and watched the kids when I went back to work with her.
With Witten I have gotten shorter time but more time. For the most part it's just been he and I in our own little mommy/baby world. I haven't had to really share him with anyone once everyone was of to work and school. I also got to spend 3 weeks with Rylan during her holiday breaks from school and a month with my husband while he was off of work due to an illness. It hurts my heart to realize that this time off will be the most time I spend with my children for the rest of their lives because we are a two income household.
We have to have a two income household to exist financially. I know that we could always downsize everything and live off of one income but what fun would that be? We wanted to live in Keller, we wanted to have nice things. This is just the sacrifice I and many other mothers like me have to make.
This time off has been just as relaxing as it has been stressful. As always my main cause of stress has been about money but we have gotten by. Lots of prayer and deep breaths staved off quite a few panic attacks for me during the pre-Christmas period. I know that the Lord has answered my prayers and we are starting to bound back from Hubs going a month without working.
So tomorrow I will load my tiny little baby up early early in the morning and leave him in the care of a very dear friend. I of course have the insane fear that he will forget me. I know that is silly but he's so tiny and I always have this thought that babies have the memory span of a chihuahua. I know that he will love me and give me that gummy baby smile when I get home. I know that I will still be able to watch him grow. I also take comfort in knowing he is in the care of someone who will love him as her own. That will send me pictures and give me updates when he does something silly. I know he won't just be another spot in the roster as so many other day cares are.
With Witten I have gotten shorter time but more time. For the most part it's just been he and I in our own little mommy/baby world. I haven't had to really share him with anyone once everyone was of to work and school. I also got to spend 3 weeks with Rylan during her holiday breaks from school and a month with my husband while he was off of work due to an illness. It hurts my heart to realize that this time off will be the most time I spend with my children for the rest of their lives because we are a two income household.
We have to have a two income household to exist financially. I know that we could always downsize everything and live off of one income but what fun would that be? We wanted to live in Keller, we wanted to have nice things. This is just the sacrifice I and many other mothers like me have to make.
This time off has been just as relaxing as it has been stressful. As always my main cause of stress has been about money but we have gotten by. Lots of prayer and deep breaths staved off quite a few panic attacks for me during the pre-Christmas period. I know that the Lord has answered my prayers and we are starting to bound back from Hubs going a month without working.
So tomorrow I will load my tiny little baby up early early in the morning and leave him in the care of a very dear friend. I of course have the insane fear that he will forget me. I know that is silly but he's so tiny and I always have this thought that babies have the memory span of a chihuahua. I know that he will love me and give me that gummy baby smile when I get home. I know that I will still be able to watch him grow. I also take comfort in knowing he is in the care of someone who will love him as her own. That will send me pictures and give me updates when he does something silly. I know he won't just be another spot in the roster as so many other day cares are.
posted by MC at
2:52 PM
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