Hurts my heart
So, we haven't gotten to see Kaleb since the last week of his Christmas break due to some trouble he got into. We were super stoked to get to see him for spring break and get to spend a week with him in our house again. His behavior seems to have improved so much. It's nice to have the kid we raised back instead of the crazy child he was.
So the last few visits we have had with Kaleb it's been a tear fest on his part and a just hurt in my heart on the last night of his visits efore we have to take him home. He has cried on these last nights that he doesn't want to go back to her house and he wants to stay with us.
We've approached the subject of him coming back next year. We still want to see more changes in his behavior and know that we can trust him again.
I sat him down tonight and let him know what we expected. I also let him know that he has to be the one to talk to his mom about coming back since this is what he wants. I advised him that he needs to be careful that he doesn't hurt her feelings. We got on the discussion of does he remember why he was sent to go live with his mom and why he wants to come back. I reminded him that not even a year ago he was crying that he wanted to go live with his mom.
He said he realized he really had it good with us and he didn't realize it when he was acting the way he was. He says he misses the hubs and I. He misses having an actual bed to sleep on instead of the air mattress he has at his moms. He say he's embarassed to live in the trailer that he does. I reminded him that his dad grew up in a trailer and there is nothing wrong with living in one. He says he misses his friends and the dogs. I think it's hard for kids to express their emotions. Especially boys. We all know how men can keep their feelings to themselves.
We sat and talked for a bit. He cried quite a lot. I got to hold him like the teeny tiny little man he used to be sitting in my lap while he sobbed. I feel so bad. I know how much it's hurt me that he's preferred his biomom to me at times. I just hate for her heart to be hurt when he talks to her. I credit her with a lot of his positive change. I think our plan of sending him to live with her in hopes he would realize he had taken us for granted worked but I also think there is no avoiding feelings being hurt in the process.
So I go to bed saying a prayer for my pre teen boy. I pray he finds the words to express his feelings. I pray he continues to go back to being the kid we raised. I pray that his mom agrees to letting him come back. I pray that he doesn't think this means he can jump back and forth between us when he doesn't live how one household is working.
So the last few visits we have had with Kaleb it's been a tear fest on his part and a just hurt in my heart on the last night of his visits efore we have to take him home. He has cried on these last nights that he doesn't want to go back to her house and he wants to stay with us.
We've approached the subject of him coming back next year. We still want to see more changes in his behavior and know that we can trust him again.
I sat him down tonight and let him know what we expected. I also let him know that he has to be the one to talk to his mom about coming back since this is what he wants. I advised him that he needs to be careful that he doesn't hurt her feelings. We got on the discussion of does he remember why he was sent to go live with his mom and why he wants to come back. I reminded him that not even a year ago he was crying that he wanted to go live with his mom.
He said he realized he really had it good with us and he didn't realize it when he was acting the way he was. He says he misses the hubs and I. He misses having an actual bed to sleep on instead of the air mattress he has at his moms. He say he's embarassed to live in the trailer that he does. I reminded him that his dad grew up in a trailer and there is nothing wrong with living in one. He says he misses his friends and the dogs. I think it's hard for kids to express their emotions. Especially boys. We all know how men can keep their feelings to themselves.
We sat and talked for a bit. He cried quite a lot. I got to hold him like the teeny tiny little man he used to be sitting in my lap while he sobbed. I feel so bad. I know how much it's hurt me that he's preferred his biomom to me at times. I just hate for her heart to be hurt when he talks to her. I credit her with a lot of his positive change. I think our plan of sending him to live with her in hopes he would realize he had taken us for granted worked but I also think there is no avoiding feelings being hurt in the process.
So I go to bed saying a prayer for my pre teen boy. I pray he finds the words to express his feelings. I pray he continues to go back to being the kid we raised. I pray that his mom agrees to letting him come back. I pray that he doesn't think this means he can jump back and forth between us when he doesn't live how one household is working.
posted by MC at
10:05 PM
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