What a week

It's that time of year again.  It's the first week of school. Instead of one pygmie starting this year both of the midgets began their years.  This will be the only year they are in school together......ever.....

R started her Monday super excited to get up and going and off to school.  Even more importantly she was ever so eager to get rid of the Hubs and I.  Unfortunately we had my 29 week check up at 8 and were only able to stay and hang out with her for 15 minutes before having to leave.  Once in the car I bawled.....like someone died.  Sobbing even.....

K started his week with the ugh back to school I go attitude.  I feel for him. Wouldn't we all like to just to go back to our 4th grade selves and remind ourselves yearly how blessed we are to have school be the only thing we HAVE to do.

The New Guy is coming along swimmingly.  We were able to get a 3d sono of his face, foot and arm.  Apparently he has large feet.  This scares me and makes sense.  Giant baby feet must be the cause of my inability to breathe

This week has also been the week of the sickies.  R woke up at 1 am Tuesday morning tossing her tacos (tacos were what was for dinner) and did not stop until Hubs and I were sufficiently exhausted.  Hubs stayed home with her and began to feel yucky himself.  Today I got a call from the nurse saying K was complaining of a stomach ache and almost passed out at school.  After swallowing my heart that had leaped into my throat I informed the powers that be that my kiddo was sick and I had to fetch him.  My poor little man looked exhausted and peaked.  He has been in bed for 7 hours now and is not hungry and still feels like poo.  Hubs came home throwing up as well.  Please Lord don't let R start to puke.

I am not worried about catching it.  Being pregnant my digestational tract is an insane roller coaster of who knows what's gonna come out where.  I'm accostomed to being ill. I've been that way for the last 6 or 7 months so what else is new right?

We had some intense drama at work yesterday which kind of played havoc with the hormones.  Good thing my "I don't care" button is in the on position.

We also started lifegroups for middle school Wednesday which is exciting to me.  Hubs and I are both leaders for the 6th grade kiddos and I'm excited to see God's work through us as we relate to these kids and speak about Him as the weeks progress.

I dunno

Two weeks have come and gone.  The kid came back yesterday.  R kind of had a freak out while the Hubs got out of the car for the game of kiddo hand off.  He came back crying. Initially I thought it was due to having rules and discipline here in our house.  I am probably right.  He did come home and sleep for 6+ hours which leads me to believe that he did not have any structure while he was gone.

I can't say I am not surprised. He probably had two weeks of complete freedom.  Hubs asked him when he got back where he would rather live and he said he didn't want to know. I wonder to myself if he does go live with her if the last two weeks are a reflection of how is life would be.  Which is the kind of life he wants. No rules, no discipline and no responsibility.  How would he end up as an adult? I am a firm believer that kids need structure and to know the adult is your parents. We are there to guide them and help them grow. Yes, we are there to be form of the buddy as well. We are not there to be their friend though.  I never find myself in the frien or buddy category with K. I am the one who is always the parent, the disciplinarian and the rule maker. 

I can't say I am handling his return well.  I don't like my daughter to freak out because someone is coming home.  She is scared of him now and with good reason.  I don't trust him at all and I don't think I will be able to for quite a while. I honestly don't know how to deal with all of this still.

I have been praying all day every day for God to guide me or show me a sign.  I know he doesn't work in miracles and bill boards so I'm searching. Searching inside myself for what is right.  I feel like this is just a burden weighing on my heart. I have to protect my kids. I have to protect my marriage.  I sometimes want to leave but the husband says we have worked too hard to get to where we are. At the same time.....what is the point if K is going to continue to destroy thing we buy him, his sister and ourselves.  What is the point if he is going to burn the house down or just be completely unappreciative of everything we work our tails off to provide?